4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
