They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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