I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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