He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
