3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
