i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
