hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
