Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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