TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
