is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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