im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
