super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
