Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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