im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
