You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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