just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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