So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
