Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she looked like the before picture.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize