yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
