I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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