That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
