u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My liver just had a heart attack.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
