Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
