At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
