she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
