went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
