Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
false alarm. still invincible.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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