i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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