drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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