So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
