is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
