Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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