Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
