Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
