It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
