Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
