Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
