Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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