A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
