"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
