She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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