did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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