i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
