When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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