I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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