just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
