If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
