i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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