Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
