I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
