Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
What a dumb baby whore.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
