i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
