we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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