Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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