Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
