but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
