He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
