so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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