oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
