is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
