Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
