i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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